Read This If You Dislike Yourself & Your Life

Read This If You Dislike Yourself & Your Life

Change your life perspective with this book

I was scrolling through an audiobook library looking for my next ‘read’. I didn’t have anything particular in mind, but I knew it was time for some non-fiction. I’ve stumbled onto a catch title: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

I could use some of that, I think in an instant. The cover was calming and minimalist. I was sold. From time to time I like to gamble and pick a book purely on instinct and visual cues — this time I’ve hit the jackpot.

Image: Good Reads

The entire book is structured dialog, so it’s is one of the books that are great to listen to, it’s almost like a podcast. The topic of discussion is finding happiness by using Adlerian psychological principles. The discussion happens between a philosopher, an Allderian adept and expert, and a young man who dislikes himself deeply.

What I liked about this book is that it’s not just presenting a new way of looking at life as a theory and something to apply right away- no questions asked. The young man always has a comeback, a counterargument to what the philosopher is saying. Most of the time, his reply will be the one you are thinking about as well.

So what is this book selling?

A lifestyle in which your traumas do not define your present and where you see all people as equals, but different from each other. All this is based on Adlerian Psychology.

Adlerian theory is a holistic approach to psychology that emphasizes the importance of overcoming feelings of inferiority and gaining a sense of belonging in order to achieve success and happiness. — VeryWellMind

Adlerian psychology/psychotherapy was developed by Alfred Adler (1870–1937). A historically influential psychiatrist, Alfred Adler began focusing the philosophical world’s attention on relatively new ideas in the early 20th century. He believed that it was imperative to become intimately familiar with a person’s social context by exploring factors such as birth order, lifestyle, and parental education. Adler believed that each person strives to belong and feel significant. 

— Good Therapy

Key points from the book:

  1. We are not determined by our traumas but rather by the meaning we decide to give to them (unconsciously most of the time)
  2. We are not controlled by emotions.
  3. To be happy you need to have courage.
  4. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems
  5. Life is not a competition

Favorite quote:

“It’s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.”

 Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

This is not your usual self-help book for sure. If you felt a little bit intrigued by what the book presents you need to add it to your list. It helped me think of my circumstances in a different light, to step away for a bit from the cause and effect thinking and see that the meaning I give to my life is entirely up to me. And if you often think about life’s meaning this book may give you some clarity.

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